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    I’ll read this after work…

    Given the timing, I’m going to guess that it is a response to (or based upon) this article: https://nyti.ms/2Ft0toh (Let me know if that is paywalled, I’m supposed to be able to share since I subscribe to them!)…

    And that article is where I first learned about this: https://lobste.rs/s/j0qd4g/crustastun

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      In case it wasn’t clear from the red flags in the title (like the phrase “kinky little perverts”), it’s an onion article.

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        I think @hobbes realized it is an Onion article, but just pointing out it looks like it’s parodying this apparently real NYTimes article.