This is amazing, thanks. I think about these issues as well and I found the post to truthfully reflect the feelings of the review-writer and to offer excellent advice.
I think there are a lot of cultural differences in play about the last “Be effusive” point – the list of words proposed is exactly the one I give people if they want to “sound American”. Maybe sounding American is the right way to behave online (if only because some contributors may expect this particular cultural habit of using “amazing” instead of “very good”, etc.), but I’m not yet sold on this – smileys are fine.