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    I’d never tell anyone what to do with their kid, but sleep training was enormously effective for us. If you’re at the end of your rope, and are okay with it; give it a shot.

    Note: n=1 for this

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      Both of our girls (2 and 4) responded really well to sleep training. TBH, actually, I think the wife and I were the ones who really needed the training.

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        I hasten to add, we didn’t sleep train them at 2 and 4, but that’s how old they are now. The older girl was sleep trained at 11 months, because she had heart surgery at six months, and we were (understandably) loath to do anything out of her ordinary routine until we got the all clear from her cardiologist. The baby was trained at about eight months.

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        Us too. And there are a lot of studies of how sleep training beginning at six months (I think; I need to double-check the exact age) has absolutely zero psychological side effects. Except on the parents of course, who may actually be somewhat sane.

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          Got a link to any such studies other than the Middlemiss one? That study has been used again and again to reassure parents it’s okay to sleep train, but the study itself was deeply flawed [1]. I encourage anyone considering sleep training to read more than just that study, and to read more widely about sleep training in general. Here’s some articles (with lots more references in them) to get started [2], [3], [4].

          We used “The No Cry Sleep Solution” [5] with middling success. Overall, I think you kinda just have to accept that it’s going to be a time of bad sleep, but that you’re making that sacrifice for your kiddo.

          [1] https://expectingscience.com/2016/04/21/the-middlemiss-study-tells-us-nothing-about-sleep-training-cry-it-out-or-infant-stress/

          [2] https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/moral-landscapes/201407/parents-misled-cry-it-out-sleep-training-reports

          [3] http://evolutionaryparenting.com/controlled-crying-cortisol-and-attachment-a-critical-look/

          [4] https://www.laleche.org.uk/letting-babies-cry-facts-behind-studies/

          [5] https://nocrysolution.com/

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            I’ll find one in the morning. To be clear, I’m not recommending and didn’t practice cry-it-out; we just did some phased process that on cursory glance looks similar to no-cry. I’m in fact up at 5 am specifically because I’m getting our kid settled again.

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          Cant plus one this enough, sleep training was one of the best parenting decisions we’ve made. It’s hard on everyone for like a week and then its soooooo much better for everyone. My 18 month old sleeps so well now, falls asleep on his own most of the time, sleeps through the night and sleeps like a rock unless he’s sick or otherwise agitated by something unrelated. Ymmv of course and ever kid and family is different but for my money it has been invaluable.

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            sleep training

            For all 4 of our kids, we used the training outlined in Save Our Sleep. Our eldest is ASD and had a lot of trouble with sleep - the training made the world of difference to him, and us. All the kids sleep well now between 10 and 12hrs depending on age.

            I used to need to send my wife out of the house because she couldn’t stand the sound of my son crying. It was pretty brutal. The the difference in his (and our) mood stability during waking times was more than worth the pain.

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              I would have thought sleep training would be standard practise by now… certainly our midwives talked about it in our prenatal.

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                It is, like most things in the world of parenting, still A Thing. That’s OK, people should do what works for their family.

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              Sleep is crucial. My wife and I both worked and we worked out a schedule where I’d go to bed at 8pm, relieve her at about 1am so we could both get 4-5 hours of sleep a night. When our son started sleeping through the night at about 14 months our daughter was born and she didn’t sleep through the night till she was 3. Four years with very little sleep. It was brutal.

              But you make people so it’s worth it :)

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                It’s really sad that any hope of open source activity in your free time flies out of the window. As the title suggests, you’re in a survival mode, so any optional time or energy sink needs to be avoided.

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                  It comes back after a year or two, and in my case I returned with a clarity of focus that’s made me a far more effective OSS contributor.

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                    I found the same. I get maybe 30 minutes to an hour of uninterrupted hobby time a week or so, and when I do I’ve planned out exactly what I’ll do during that time. This instead of my bachelor days of “let’s mess around for an afternoon and get relatively little done”.

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                    What makes you say that? Does ‘open source activity’ basically, for you, equate to ‘things I do on my spare time’? If so, that’s not the same for everyone.

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                      Does ‘open source activity’ basically, for you, equate to ‘things I do on my spare time’?

                      Nope, that’s why I said ‘open source activity in your free time’, which is a subset of ‘things I do on my spare time’. Otherwise, I know you can be lucky and have a job that lets you write open source code in your paid time.

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                        Ah, right, missed that part somehow.. sorry.

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                    I assume this is a US-centric post also, since the content seems to imply you’re back at work with a newborn at home, which would never happen here.

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                      When my first child was born, I was allowed to leave halfway through the day because my wife was in labor, but I was back in the office the next day. I had zero days for paternity leave. That was at a startup. The next child, I was at a corporation that still had me on the “freelancer” contract, and so I had zero days again. I was allowed to work at home, at least. My third child, I was at that same corporation for a second time and they gave me 3 days off (but 1 of those was the day my wife went into labor).

                      My wife stopped working before we had our first, so it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. People who decide to continue with both parents working probably have a rougher time here.

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                        Does “here” stay accommodating when a parent is on their eighth child?

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                          He lives in Canada, where having 8 kids is extremely rare these days so I’d expect it’s not really a problem worth solving.

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                            Yes, of course :)