IBM rep on COBOL:
Just because a language is 50 years old, doesn’t mean that it isn’t good
Well, they’re right: that’s not the reason COBOL isn’t good. The Wikipedia page suggests a few better reasons. Check out some of the code snippets.
COBOL will outlive us all. In ten-thousand years, when humanity has been replaced by gengineered simuloids, there will still be agents dedicated to maintaining their ancient COBOL subsystems.
There was a joke in the Y2K era about a programmer who was terrified about the Y2K bug and had himself cryogenically frozen to wait out the tech apocalypse. 8000 years later he was revived into a techno-utopian future society. The first thing they said to him was, “We understand you know COBOL…”
Good thing his cryopod wasn’t affected! Or maybe it was, and that’s why he required manual revival…