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    I ran a mailing list for myself and my friend group for years, and it went really well (anywhere from 5 to 50 emails a day) until a…spat…over two of my friends’ shared love interest fractured the whole thing. I now have two completely distinct friendship circles that don’t interact (people took sides) as a result and the mailing list is dead.

    I suppose the lesson there is that Facebook drama doesn’t need Facebook, and now lobste.rs is the only social networking I do….

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      Start a new list! :)

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      Back in February or March I switched to email and text/signal communication, email didn’t pan out for all except one of my friends, but the switch did generally increase my happiness and lower stress.

      The main issue I faced as a musician in bands is dealing with events, for me it was relatively easy to switch as I have people who let me know of events I’d be interested in and I don’t organize shows but there’s definitely a problem there and the #1 reason people I know stay. If anyone knows of any good (edit: it’s hard to convince to local music scene to switch to mailing lists, but maybe it’s good? anyone have any insights here?) alternatives to facebook events, please let me know.

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        A Google Calendar?

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          Not having comments (afaik) on events kinda rules it out. Mailing lists might actually be a viable option, I’ll have to think about it more

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        Just remove Facebook root and branch. I did and it’s wonderful. No more worrying about why this or that didn’t get N amount of likes. It’s very nice to be able to not concern myself with what a certain group of people “friends” think of my metaverse avatar.

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          I seem to be in the minority in that I don’t dislike Facebook, but I do use it in a fairly specific way. I have drastically cut back my friend list (which was never more than 200, anyway) to around 50. I’m going to cut it back further. It’s more and more becoming about close friends and family.

          The idea of switching to email is rather tempting, though. There are at least 2 people I consider very close who aren’t on FB, and I like the idea of keeping up with them in the same way I do everyone else.

          Where I see it falling apart a little, and where FB reigns, is with incidental exposure to people’s lives. If I’m sending out a quarterly email, it’s going to take a lot of crafting and will exclude a lot of the small day to day events that make you feel like you’re part of someone’s life.

          Perhaps I’ll give it a go and see how it turns out.

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            Schleuder, a gpg-enabled mailing list manager with remailing-capabilities might be interesting in this context.

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              I avoid the Facebook usage by exclusively using it on my phone, but only in the web browser where the UI sucks and you can’t use “messenger”. End up spending less than 10 minutes a week on the thing

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                So why have it at all?

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                  My (formerly) local game store in another town has a page all the events are organised on.

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                    For me, I’ll have to go back because some family exclusively do important stuff on it. I think a scrapper might be a nice compromise where I can read what’s on FB but reply in a more personal way with less spying and manipulation. :)

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                      Did you mean scraper? How would you implement this? As a browser extension?

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                        I have no idea. I used to do it with standalone apps. That it’s a web application means that strat won’t work. Browser extension sounds like a good start.

                        I know one company had a browser extension encrypting everything people put on Facebook in a way where it was plaintext for them. If that could work, then Im pretty sure a browser extension could do smaller job of handling HTML. Idk about images and video.

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                          Encrypting everything on Facebook would be so cool, leaving only metadata for Facebook to harvest. Tricky, I’m sure, with JS capturing keystrokes, but cool.

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                            Yeah, it was a neat product. It worked seemlessly at least in the demo. You know how that goes haha. I couldn’t find them when I tried looking them up a year or two ago. I guess hardly anyone bought the product. Add it to the list of such things in the privacy space. Oh well.

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                    I took the opposite tack: I do not use FB at all on my phone so I only use it when I’m on my laptop at home, at most a couple of times per day for a few minutes.

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                      I use it like that too, and is the only thing I use Chrome for on my phone, because the UI is better than in other browsers. I only use it for a chat with a couple of friends, and only because two of them do use facebook and we coulnd’t agree on another chat software.

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                      I’ve deleted my Facebook account a few months ago after almost a decade of using it exclusively to sign up for random things. Clicking on the big blue button seemed easier than entering my e-mail and selecting a password, so I kept doing it until the privacy implications of this practice convinced me to abandon it.

                      However, I won’t be starting a mailing list any time soon.

                      Perhaps others lead vastly more interesting lives than I do, but I don’t feel any need to launch a personal mailing list about my life any more than I felt the need to share a stream of minutiae on Facebook. Moments that are genuinely dear to me - such as those relating to my family life - are none of anyone else’s business anyway.

                      3,000+ contacts over 20 years? My goodness, that’s a lot of people. I’m an immigrant 2x removed from his home country, from where I left too early in life to have developed relationships that could continue in the online age. I came to my current country too late to have gone to school here, so I don’t have the implied social network which usually comes with that particular experience.

                      99% of people I’ve interacted with happen to have been colleagues of mine at one time or another, or folks I’ve met while sitting on either side of the job interview table. While I have enjoyed some very productive work arrangements in the past, none of these people have kept in touch with me after myself or them have moved on to another company.

                      All this is to say: I would be astonished if anyone wanted to read about the details of my life. These aren’t useful - or indeed enjoyable - to anyone but me and my family, which is where the details shall remain.