First of all, I’m sorry. I’m deeply sorry for all of this.
A few months ago, talking with some friends, we had the idea of developing a programming language just for the sake of it. We talked a little about it, design by committee got out of control and, a few days later, we abandoned the project completely without having written a single line of code.
I, though, have wanted to make a programming language my whole life and thus I kept trying to push the project forward by myself. I created a syntax loosely based on that of COBOL, made the worst compiler possible, wrote a somewhat slow “virtual machine” and released LDPL as a joke. Even the name is a pun on older, business oriented languages with BIG-CAPITAL-LETTER-NAMES. Again, like COBOL.
Fast forward a little and the joke got out of control.
I kept working on the language on my free time - pushing the not-very-ortodox but easy to code compiler forward - and the language got pretty usable. I mean, it’s not a language you’d like to work with. It can’t do everything. It’s quite slow. It doesn’t have any scoping nor functions (it does have sub-procedures, though) nor lambdas nor objects nor fancy data structures. Think of it more of an esolang than a serious language.
But what it lacks in efficiency and features, it makes up by having a cute dinosaur logo (poorly drawn as a joke on other mascots like the GCC gnu), unicode support, a full standard, comprehensive documentation, fancy examples and a half-written tutorial to be finished in the next days. It’s also very portable, with binaries available for Linux amd-64 and ARMv8, Windows 64 bits and even Mac OS X for PowerPC processors!
I’m sure you won’t hate it that much.