Well that was way better than I expected!
I think Hypnotoad is probably Clojure. Commands a cult following. Mesmerizing and incomprehensible from the outside, but once you fall in with it, you’re hooked for life. After that, if you try to use anything else, you get withdrawal. All glory to the Hypnotoad.
See also https://leftoversalad.com/c/015_programmingpeople/
And also https://toggl.com/blog/save-princess-8-programming-languages
Shell should start its own language, with blackjack and hookers.