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      Ha! I didn’t expect much, but I needed to chuckle multiple time (open plan office, we never laugh).

      Love the Rust description, but the Ruby one…

      You run the competing inn across town. You do good business, though you sometimes wonder whether it’s really your daughter Rails (child of a passing Hanson prince) that the patrons love.

      So on point!

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        You are a scribe.. you may be the best scribe because you express complex ideas succinctly. Money lenders use your services to write their contracts but you have too much work. It pays well, and your talents are unique. You have no one to refer excess work to, so you hide from new clients. You change your name every few years, adopting one character names because you love concision. J, K, Q.. how will you hide now? Maybe you will use a symbol as a name. You are the language formerly known as APL.

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          These are surprisingly man -k.

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            I came up with one.

            Agda:

            You are a stylite whose years of living on the pillar have driven you to solipsism. You are convinced that the land that you can see, the Land of Computable Functions, is all that exists. However, you disdain to go down and actually compute anything, for that would take far too long.

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              Haskell: You are a desert hermit. Having rejected monastic orders as far too worldly, you moved to the desert in a quest for utmost purity.

              I really expected a pun here, but an overall great article.

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                I wonder what would JavaScript be in this parallel world of programming languages characters :)

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                    The Troubadour and his Travelling Troupe of Merry Dancers

                    Your songs about the Scripture are heard everywhere and are especially popular with younger children. Older people have long since given up trying to block you out of their villages.

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                      Spy from a distant land that the kingdom occasionally trades with. He is always browsing local windows and sending secrets back home. A bit slow, but nobody else was willing to live so far from home.

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                      I needed a lol today. This delivered.