A dispute between Brazil and France about lobster fishing that could have escalated into a war.
It’s a pleasing read, especially as they tried to settle the thing in court, by using scientific arguments to everyone’s delight: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lobster_War#On_the_scientific_thesis
(\/)_!_!_(\/)“We assure everyone no innocent Lobsters were harmed during the bombing runs.”
How can you tell whether or not a lobster is innocent?
They tie their hands during shipment because they naturally try to kill each other. A good chunk of any shipment would arrive dead. The less aggressive ones who just want to chill out are potentially innocent.
Or cowardly assholes who lack the exo-skeleton to do anything but talk garbled shit at a large distance. We’ll need to study their speech or body language to figure it out past that.
Perform a witch hunt: place the lobsters in boiling water and any that are caught red handed are guilty.
I tried, but all I got were a bunch of red claws. Did I do it right?