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A dispute between Brazil and France about lobster fishing that could have escalated into a war.

It’s a pleasing read, especially as they tried to settle the thing in court, by using scientific arguments to everyone’s delight: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lobster_War#On_the_scientific_thesis


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      Admiral Paulo Moreira da Silva, Brazil’s Navy expert in the field of oceanography who had been sent to assist the diplomatic committee during the general discussions, argued that for Brazil to accept the French scientific thesis that a lobster would be considered a fish when it “leaps” on the seafloor, then they would have in the same manner to accept the Brazilian premise that when a kangaroo “hops” it would be considered a bird.

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        “We assure everyone no innocent Lobsters were harmed during the bombing runs.”

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          How can you tell whether or not a lobster is innocent?

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            They tie their hands during shipment because they naturally try to kill each other. A good chunk of any shipment would arrive dead. The less aggressive ones who just want to chill out are potentially innocent.

            Or cowardly assholes who lack the exo-skeleton to do anything but talk garbled shit at a large distance. We’ll need to study their speech or body language to figure it out past that.

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              Perform a witch hunt: place the lobsters in boiling water and any that are caught red handed are guilty.

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                I tried, but all I got were a bunch of red claws. Did I do it right?